Buy Her A F***ing Machine

Some guys find the idea of watching their girl have sex somewhat alluring — but they’d never allow another man touch her. Furthermore, the vast majority of us are temporarily unavailable to satisfy our girl due to another critically important activity — such as Monday Night Football. For these and other instances, a fucking machine can prove quite useful. Whereas an intelligent robotic fucking machine was once solely within the domain of dirty science fiction, today one can be in your home for under a grand. The following fucking machines are state of the art, and they can be purchased from the leading sex robotics manufacturer,

Sneaky Pete Pro

Sneaky Pete Pro

The Sneaky Pete Pro is a powerful fucking machine which yields the user ultimate control. The stroke rate is adjustable, and it can be set anywhere between 1 and 207 strokes per minute. Unless she is a seasoned pro, avoid setting the stroke amount at a high number lest you literally fuck the shit out of her. Start with lower numbers and work your way up until she cries uncle — or Pete in this instance. You can also easily adjust Sneaky Pete’s angle of attack which enables fucking her missionary, doggy-style, bent-over or any other position you can come up with.

This piece of machinery is constructed to last with MIG welded steel and an engine which yields a satisfying 24 pounds of torque — more than enough to have her moaning with pleasure, or begging for mercy. A variety of attachments (dildos) can be used. The Sneaky Pete Pro breaks down into three pieces for easy storage. This machine will run you just over $500 — a small price to pay for a reliable stand-in for when you are otherwise occupied.

Monster Cock Fucking Machine

Monster Cock Fucking Machine
The Monster Cock Fucking Machine — as its name implies — works with huge dildo attachments certain to push her limits of endurance. This machine has a height which adjusts from floor level up to 18″ making it ideal for doing her either spread eagle or on all fours. This is also the preferred fucking machine for doing her up the ass — which provides for a good way to shut her up quickly when she becomes especially nagging.

The Monster Cock Fucking Machine is relatively small, and ideal when it comes to storage and travel. Strokes per minute can be adjusted between one and 185 — don’t attempt the higher levels until you establish she can take it at under 40. A large selection of dildo attachments can be purchased separately. The Monster Cock will run you around $400.

The Bitch Tamer

The Bitch Tamer

This fucking machine is ideal for taming and training her seeing it comes with built-in restraints. If your bitch needs training, then this fucking machine could be your ticket. The Bitch Tamer bondage mode can be turned on or off, so if she has been behaving herself you can give her a bit more freedom during the experience. This highly customizable fucking machine can be yours for just under $300.



No, you won’t be owning this fucking cyborg from the future. This is strictly for commercial use, and you can see it in action on several of your favorite fetish sites.



The Lick-a-Chick is also a commercial machine which you wouldn’t be able to afford, unless you desire to drop tens of thousands of dollars on a sex machine. The Lick-a-Chick is akin to a chainsaw with myriad tongues rapidly rotating to yield an experience akin to cunnilingus on steroids. You can also see this Lick-a-Chick machine in action on several fetish websites.



  1. kerry says:

    Hi there would like to know the cost of these machines And how I can purchase one in south africa?

  2. Alex says:

    You can order from me, prices from R4200 to R9000 in Cape Town. Delivery nation wide.

  3. shabeer says:

    lex could u send me afew pix of themachines and prices

  4. PN says:

    Alex can you provide more info on the machines and pricing?

  5. junaid says:

    can u pleses me some prices tanx

  6. Martin van Wyngaard says:

    Please send some prices

  7. Nokuthula Thuli says:

    Where in Cape Town Alex???

  8. Joe says:

    Info please. Has anyone ever bought one of these or ever get any info?

  9. Jen says:

    Im a sub looking to be tamed…I wanted to know if there was a sex mashine to fuck me and tie me down by my master…to keep me down while getting fucked by the mashine…so if anyone can write me back I would love to know

  10. Mike says:

    Where do I purchase a luck a chick

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