Top 10 Men’s Splurges For When You Hit It Rich

Whether you take your company public, bamboozle the public with convoluted naked CDS transactions, or if you earn your fortune the old-fashioned way by hitting the lottery — you’ll need some ideas on how to spend your hard earned riches.  Sure, the obligatory large home and sports car purchases are assumed — but what toys are out there which can set you apart from your more mundane and boring rich brethren?  Here is a list of the top 10 men’s gear buys for the guy who can have it all:

Can-Am Commander

Whether you’re out on the trails or just tooling around your sprawling estate, the Can-Am Commander two seat ATV will allow you to get around in style.  These ATV’s feature Rotax V-Twin EFI engines and include an anti-dive front end, a bi-level cargo box, rollover protection and a 10 gallon fuel tank.  The Can-Am comes in either flashy yellow or stylish red and black, and at just under $12,000 your new-found wealth can allow you to buy one of each.

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Dog Mansion

Who better to share your new riches than with your loyal pooch?  Surely Fido can not debase himself by retreating to any old doghouse within your new estate, and luckily for him there a firm named Dog Mansions that will provide an abode befitting his new station in life.  These doggie mansions are constructed of high-end materials and shatter-proof glass, and each comes with a customized certificate and a unique serial number.  At just over $3500, this is a small price to pay to ensure Fido doesn’t have to bring neighborhood bitches back home to a crappy doghouse.

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Eurocopter Mercedes-Benz EC145 Helicopter

Any accountant or dentist can have a Mercedes in their garage, however, only a privileged few can own a Benz which goes vertical.  The Eurocopter Mercedes-Benz EC145 Helicopter is a mid-sized copter which can comfortably seat four within the lap of luxury.  In addition to sporting twin high-end engines, the interior is more luxurious than a VIP Vegas hotel suite.  All the latest technology including Internet access, satellite television, bluetooth and ambient lighting are present, and there is a windowed partition between you and the cabin crew for when you need a blowjob from the flight attendant.  At only $5 million, the EC145 is a great toy for cutting the time for trips into the city, or just to fly around peering down on the unfortunate hoi polloi who haven’t hit it big like you.

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Garia Soleil de Minuit Golf Cart

Golf will obviously play a significant role within your new life of luxury and leisure, and tooling around the course in a plain old golf cart simply won’t suffice.  Thankfully, the Garia Soleil de Minuit provides for an option which will differentiate you from the other losers driving run-of-the-mill carts.  This cart boasts hand-stitched seats, a carbon fiber alloy roof, customized paint jobs, a LED speedometer, a built-in fridge and beverage chiller and custom wheels with alloy rims.  These carts are produced in a Porsche factory, and the result is a product which will run circles around any other cart you might encounter — which it well should being the most expensive golf cart ever made with a price of over $50,000.

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Gunlocke Washington Presidents Chair

There will still be occasional work to do even after you hit it big.  You’ll have to endorse all your dividend checks, review your portfolios and ensure the Congressman you purchased is doing his job.  When it comes to a chair on which to rest your newly rich ass, there is only one choice — the Gunlocke Washington Presidents Chair.  8 U.S. Presidents have selected this chair to reside behind their Oval Office desk, and you should demand no less.  This chair is the epitome of comfort and design, and at only $5500 it is a real steal.  Direct line to the Kremlin is not included.

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Husqvarna DXR 310 Demolition Robot

With all of your new leisure time, you’ll have to find some new hobbies.  Destroying shit is a fun choice, and the Husqvarna DXR 310 Demolition Robot can serve as your personal remote vessel of destruction.  This toy is akin to a real size Transformer — with the slight difference that if desired you can use it to completely shred an annoying neighbor’s house.  This robot can tear down walls, chop up concrete and otherwise wreck havoc.  It comes with a robotic arm which extends up to 15 feet which allows you to reach out and touch those fleeing its menacing presence.  This robot can be controlled remotely, comes with Bluetooth and a 3.5 inch high-res command screen.  At only $600,000, this is a small price to pay for the immediate respect of all of your older and more well-heeled neighbors.

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Kalamazoo Outdoor Pizza Oven

Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you only desire to eat foo-foo French and deconstructed pansy dishes.  Pizza surely will remain at the top of your food chart, but Dominoes does not befit a man of your stature.  The Kalamazoo Outdoor Pizza Oven can take its rightful place in your toy-filled backyard of your new mansion.  This pizza oven will deliver results exceeding the best of your local pizza joints, and its high-end stainless steel construction ensures it is meant to last.  It comes with all the bells and whistles including digital thermometers, professional grade composite baking stones and two gas burners.  At $6500, this is a cheap price to pay to ensure piping hot awesome pizza is never more than an arm’s length away when you’re covorting with topless chicks in your pool.

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Scubacraft

You have sportscars which rule the highways, a small airforce of private jets and helicopters, a big yacht and a variety of ATV’s and snowmobiles — so what’s next?  The Scubacraft is a personal submarine which offers easy push button submersion down to 100 feet.  Above water, it’s strong engines propel it at 50 knots, and it’s fuel tanks provide for a long range.  Other personal submarines require crews and can cost millions of dollars, but the Scubacraft can be mastered by you and only costs $120,000 which allows you to buy a few in order to race or play submarine derby with your buddies.

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Terrafugia Transition

OK, we’ve touched upon various vehicles and aircraft — but a truly diverse transportation assemblage must include a car that can fly.  The Terrafugia Transition gets a nice 30 mpg while driving on the road, and once airborne it can travel up to 460 miles at 115 miles per hour on a single tank.  At just $195,000, the Terrafugia is a great way to beat traffic or to arrive picking up a date in a truly stylish fashion.

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Tron Legacy Lightcycle

Along with your uber golf cart, flying car and submarine, you obviously need a bike or two.  The Tron Legacy Lightcycle isn’t the fastest bike out there, but it certainly is the coolest.  Built by the same people who brought you the Custom Batpod, this bike is inspired by one which is set to be featured in an upcoming movie in December.  The exterior neon lights are what sets this motorcycle apart from any other on the street, but the Tron provides substance as well as style.  It comes with either a gasoline or electric engine allowing you to show off in an environmentally friendly fashion, and the carbon fiberglass body shows fine craftsmanship.  At just over $35,000, the Tron Lighcycle is a surefire way to turn heads as you arrive at your destination.

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