Top 8 Tips For Breaking Up With Your Girl

Obviously, not every relationship ends in marital bliss.  Consequently, the vast majority of relationships you will have are ended with a break-up.  Whereas being on the receiving end of a break-up can be a disheartening affair, having to break up with your girl can be even more excruciating.  Some guys will attempt to avoid emotional drama by simply sending a text or employing other such impersonal techniques, however, this is neither a smart, nor classy, move.  This is especially the case if your relationship has lasted for any appreciable amount of time.

Taking the time — and having the patience — to break up with her in a kind and thoughtful way can help to reduce drama as well as avoid creating an enemy.  Who knows, maybe the next hottie you meet will have a friend who knows her — having her out there feeling bitter and spewing venom about you can only serve to hurt your future prospects.  This is especially salient if you live in a small town.  In some scenarios, bitterness can not be avoided.  However, a few simple tips can help to increase the odds that you can walk away with a modicum of drama– and without being the target of her future wrath:

Ensure She Is The First To Know

Avoid at all costs her hearing that you are about to break up with her from another source.  This can result from one of your loose-lipped friends — therefore, keep your plans to yourself until after the deed is done.  Chicks obviously love to gossip, and the chances are that if you let the cat out of the bag before telling her, then it will make her way to her before you are able to tell her face to face.  Women detest this, and you should maintain top secret status surrounding your plans until they are a fait accompli.

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Give Her The Weekend

Although there is no perfect time for breaking up, doing it on a Friday gives her the weekend to withdraw and recuperate — if she needs to.  Doing it on a weeknight forces her to deal with it at work or school the next day — a few days over the weekend allows her to regain composure and begin the process of getting over you.  Especially avoid breaking up just prior to a big event in her life like a friend’s wedding or the like.  This can only serve to increase her pain and the bitterness associated with breaking up with you.

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Pick Neutral Turf

You shouldn’t have her over to your place when it comes time for breaking up — nor should you go over to her place.  Pick a neutral venue where you are both on the same footing.  Furthermore, avoid any location which may have a special emotional place for her.  For example, don’t break up with her at the same place where you had your first kiss.  Make it someplace that both of you are comfortable as well as being a location not prone to be associated with any past events within your relationship.

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Keep It Private

Many guys think it is a shrewd move to pick a public location for breaking up.  They reason that she will be less apt to create a scene and engage in histrionics if you do the deed in public.  This is a bad move.  Forcing her to keep in her thoughts and emotions will only serve to allow them to stew within her — and nothing good can come of that.  Let her get it all out — you’ll be the better off for it in the long run.

When seeking a neutral, yet private, location — several options come to mind.  If the weather is conducive, then a secluded area within a local park can be an excellent choice.  Likewise, a quiet and empty section within a library also meets both of these criteria.  Give her some privacy in order to cry and/or rant and rail against you.  It might be a painful few hours, but it could serve to avoid recurring aggravation from her in the future.

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Do It In Person

As indicated previously, breaking up should not be done via text, email or over the phone.  Doing it face to face is the manly thing, and after being with you for whatever time frame, she at least deserves to receive the bad news in person.  Maybe in the future all human interaction will be done via text, but for now, decorum dictates that some things — including breaking up — be done in the flesh.

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KISS

No, this does not relate to a goodbye kiss.  This tip is the famous acronym derived by McDonalds founder Ray Kroc — Keep It Simple, Stupid.  When you explain your reasoning behind breaking up, do not get into a long and involved tale.  Keep it relatively simple, and avoid being accusatory or acrimonious.  Do not be critical of her during the breaking up process, and attempt to avoid a fight at all costs.

A concise and simple explanation that you feel it is best for both of you to move on can both satisfy her curiosity without putting her on the defensive.  Be sure to convey that you are sad about breaking up as well — avoid looking to happy during this conversation — even if you are.

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Be Logical

While breaking up you are sure to encounter a lot of emotion.  Do not match emotion with emotion — this only exacerbates the drama.  Remain cool, collected and logical.  Use facts, reasoning and syllogisms.  Avoid arguments at all costs during this conversation, and attempt to keep it as rational as possible.  Your goal isn’t to win an argument per se — it is to accomplish your mission of breaking up in a classy manner producing as little ill will as humanly possible.

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Be Resolute

If you have decided that breaking up is the best course, then stick to your guns.  Do not waver upon attempting to break up with her — be resolute and firm.  Don’t let pity or sadness influence your decision at the last moment.  If you aren’t ready to break up, then give it more time.  If you’ve made the decision that breaking up is best, then don’t flip flop.  Once it is over — it is over.  Don’t fall into the unproductive and drama filled trap of an “on again – off again” relationship.

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