Out of all the scenarios sure to induce cringes among guys, the thought of holding a hot iron to your balls is towards the top of the list. However, many guys are inadvertently exposing their balls — and sometimes their dicks — to low level burns by taking the laptop’s name a bit too literally. Medical researchers have recently documented an increasing number of cases now referred to as “toasted skin syndrome”. This syndrome can include poached penises, blazing balls, scorched scrotums and sizzling skin all over your thighs.
Although laptops generally do not heat up to the point of causing burns upon contact, they do provide enough low-level heat to do significant damage when kept in contact with the skin for extended periods of time. Guys who escape this painful “toasted skin syndrome” are still at risk for an increased risk of cancer. Placing an active electronic device in close proximity to your balls over long durations is simply not a good idea. This was further quantified by a study conducted at the University of Basel in Switzerland which showed a correlation between testicular cancers and men’s placement of laptops directly on their laps.
The Associated Press recently quoted a professor from the Eastern Virginia University School of Medicine who asserted that the damage caused to skin exposed to powered laptops is akin to what is experienced after years of exposure to the sun. We all know the ramifications of exposure to UV rays — but at least with them you get a nice tan as opposed to a pair of roasted nuts when the exposure is to your laptop.
All major laptop manufacturers including Apple, Dell and HP have heeded these studies and are now advising not to actually rest your laptop on your lap. Curiously, these studies appeared to target men as test subjects. Possibly this is due to a research aim of quantifying the effects on potency and testicular cancer — which obviously requires male subjects. Or, alternatively, possibly the universe of consumers who rest their laptops on the bare lap is greatly skewed towards male. What could be the cause of this? Men being more likely to be surfing porn? Nah.